Sponsoring Girls is a Waste of Time

Tell me, how much money did your parents spend on your education? Did they pay your school fees late or early? What about your extra-school activities? How much did these cost and for when was the payment of them due? I’m sure if you’re reading this, you’ve had the opportunity to participate in sports clubs, dancing schools, music lessons, holiday clubs and more. I’m also pretty certain that none of you will know or care to remember the details of costs and payments that funded all these elements of our development. In contrast, I’m equally sure that everyone will remember which friends and family attended which sporting matches, which teachers believed in us and which coaches encouraged us to be who we are now.

Note: Some of the sponsors that have given to the Inanda Seminary Project are featured through this blog (more to follow in next post...)

Coastland Sales Team

Quite simply, I’m trying to illustrate a point which I’ve largely taken for granted until recently being involved in the lives of the girls of Micah6: it’s not money that makes a difference in lives; rather, it’s a consistent investment of time. This might sound clichéd to you (as it does to me writing it) but stop to think for a moment about the implications of being orphaned and placed in the care of someone with very little money and many other children. Returning to my earlier thoughts about activities that shaped our development – more important than the skill learned was the potential in us that was sought and recognised by a parent, coach or other form of mentor. Their cheering, clapping and post performance analysis praised the good they saw in us and constructively dealt with our weak points. Since these were people that loved us, we responded by changing in a way that was guided by their input. Over time, with this constant encouragement, we grew up into young adults who had fulfilled our early potential and had the vision for great things to come.

Hylton and Alex Mowday

This analysis doesn’t come from a psychology textbook but rather from real stories of girls within the Micah6 program whose lives changed significantly when sponsors and other people involved with the organisation took the time to make contact and be involved in their lives. I hope to be able to write about these more in future blogs but the focus of this post is the “sponsorships” Micah6 has received so far. Right from the outset, Gabi has maintained that these girls need adoption. Not necessarily in the legal sense but in the way the sponsors and girls are connected. As time goes on we learn more about what that means – right now for me it means an individual relationship where there is an investment into a life that is for the long term and not based on merit. That is why Gabi has asked for sponsors to commit to one child’s fees for the duration of their high-school tuition and also why the program has taken on a maximum of twelve girls.

Alan Wills and Associates

As it stands now, we are at a critical point of growth in the life of Micah6. This growth, though, will not happen in the number of girls on the program but rather with the number of people (including ourselves) that come to understand the best response to the crisis before us of vulnerable girls unable to realise their potential through the current education and social support systems. To this end we’re not looking for more money given at arm’s length but rather for minds and hearts to navigate with us through the complex and often helpless situations we face together with these girls.

Andre and Clare van der Stoep

All I want for my birthday are curtains...

There are many people who make sacrifices in this life. Some seem trivial, many go unnoticed and most are taken for granted. My wife is one of those who gives selflessly without recognition or reward. Though she will probably never be thought of as a "martyr", her sacrifice is possibly greater for few see it.

About 4 years ago, Gabi and a close friend (Sarah) began teaching a group of 10 year-old girls how to play recorder. These girls had just been through a period of intensive grief counselling after many of them had lost parents to HIV/ AIDS. This program was the unintentional start of a journey with the girls that developed into a weekly activity right through their primary school. As the weeks went by, Gabi quickly became aware of how far behind the girls were in their education as a result of a failing public school system. When it came time for the girls to register for high-school, she realised she could not leave them at the mercy of their circumstances and gathered sponsors together to ensure that they could attend a better school.

Even at high-school, Gabi continued the weekly get togethers - this time in the form of extra maths and English lessons. She realised that the interaction was important not only to supplement the school teaching, but also to pick up problems and encourage the girls. But the point of this blog is not so much the program and the ongoing assistance it needs - it's about the curtains I want for my birthday.

Though this program seems simple with a once a week commitment, it is much greater than that. The administration involved with sending 11 girls to school when most are orphaned and living with aunts, uncles and grandmothers is way more than you can imagine. A simple task like getting copies of school reports is something that takes about 4 weeks in trying to arrange between a severely under-resourced school and guardians who aren't contactable by telephone. Add to that other issues like arranging school uniforms and stationary, accounting for money that is managed in a church fund by someone else and having to be a maths teacher with no training and prepare lessons and one begins to realise that this is no small feat. Though it probably seems mild in comparison to those who have gone off to far away lands in abject poverty, let me put this in context:

Gabi is an outstanding student who won a national prize for the best master's thesis in her area of study. She is also an accomplished singer who has won numerous competitions for her classical performances. Through the time she gives to volunteer work, she forfeits not only income but also recognition in areas that most in society value. More than this - her time is the greatest sacrifice for she will not rest until the girls have received justice through giving them the best eduction she can.

The result of this is that curtains she's been wanting since we were married over a year ago, are not hanging in our home. It's not that I couldn't go out and get some myself or that we couldn't find money for them. It's just that their priority in time terms is always below that of the girls she helps because that is her heart. Yet I know she desires to have beautiful curtains.

So I want curtains for my birthday. When I consider what Gabi continually gives up for the sake of these wonderful girls, I want to give up my "right" to birthday presents for me so she can have her curtains. Because I don't have an eye for style like she does, for me to get these curtains might mean that you will need to take her out to the shops to look at fabrics (and then for a coffee afterwards to encourage her in what she does with the girls). It might mean that you offer to attend a lesson so that she can take the time to measure up the window spaces. Maybe even finding out what the next thing is that the girls need and buying it will save Gabi the time and money to allow her to purchase them will be what it takes. As long as by the 17th October 2010 I have curtains that make Gabi smile, I will have received everything I want for my 29th birthday. Don't forget the cards!